Part of your story really sounded familiar. I also married even though I was hesitant for a few reasons….one being that I did not feel any chemistry with my ex-husband & kept thinking everything else looked good on paper and maybe that would work itself out. Now I know that I don’t want to settle for anything less than a full relationship, which includes a strong attraction. I think the lack of chemistry with my ex-husband was my body’s way of telling me he was not right (even though he was very handsome and charming & I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was wrong….it turned out to be an emotionally abusive relationship like yours). Like you – I was closed off after my marriage ended and didn’t think I would ever feel anything for anyone for the rest of my life (dramatic, I know 🙂 ). The man I dated from my past allowed me to see that I was very capable of experiencing great passion & allowed me to communicate freely (both things that had been missing in my marriage); however, I also noticed some similarities to my ex-husband (a little controlling & intense) so I ended it. I am hoping that I am on the right track finally!