06/03/2020 at 4:30 pm #6769
Hello dear community and welcome to the Deeper Dating community page. We’re so glad you are here as we launch this new event. Please say hi; let us know your name and where you are from and what brings you here. You can also create new topics if you have any reflections, questions, topics of interest or requests for advice from the community. Also, please share your responses to other people’s posts, and your own reflections and experiences.
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It’s your forum. Have fun and share your “experience, strength, and hope”– and your reflections!06/04/2020 at 12:40 pm #6779
Hello: I’m Monique. I’m based in Phoenix, Arizona and really enjoyed last night’s event. I have two adult daughters and four grandchildren based in Arizona and Michigan. I love to do volunteer work overseas and normally do that each summer but for now I’m grounded.
I’m in this community to find a better way to attract a mate. I’ve had four major relationships in my 56 years (2 marriages and 2 other relationships). In each case I attracted the Avoidant-type of partner, even though I tried to ‘avoid’ that habit. My fourth relationship ended in November and, surprisingly, I healed pretty quickly (meaning – it didn’t take me years, only months…..) and decided to find a different way to date. So in February I hired a matchmaker and in April I got onto a dating site that is more spiritual in nature (not the traditional dating site I used years ago). Around May I enrolled in an online Dating Summit with daily speakers, dating advice, relationship and sexuality information. That’s how I found out about Ken.
I feel like my November break up was a catalyst for a new trajectory of growth, learning, and expansion. I’ve really been enjoying my path and have a new perspective about men, dating, and relationships. I even realized (through Ken’s book) that I needed to release several of my female friends because, like the men I ended up with, they don’t honor my true gifts. So, I’ve pretty much cleaned house of my relationships and am ready to find my tribe – which I think might be in this community. I also moved in November (out of my boyfriend’s house) and I joke now that I’d have a house warming party if I had any friends left…..lol. But I’m okay with that status for now, as I know I’ll make new friends.
This new path has also helped me with my spiritual beliefs and my work with clients. I’m an executive coach who works remotely with business owners and senior executives. They face many challenges right now and (as an HSP and Empath) I feel like I can stay more centered, neutral, and at peace while working with them. This, in turn, seems to have a calming impact on them.
I’ve learned so much from Ken’s book so far and I’m only in the third chapter. My biggest aha moment was to stop lowering the bar when looking for a mate. I had kept the bar high and had high expectations but friends kept telling me I was being too picky. So, I lowered the bar and guess what – I attracted those four relationships that didn’t serve me. So now the bar is going up again and that feels so much better. I can even tell on the dating site that I’m attracting higher quality men. I still haven’t found a match but I think I’m going in the right direction.
I’m looking forward to connecting with all of you, finding a learning buddy, and taking part in more of Ken’s learning and online dating events. A big thanks to all of you for being here for me. Let me know if I can help you in any way.
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